Embodied consent: Building relationships from the inside out
Consent is often described as something we communicate with others: saying yes or no, setting boundaries, and making agreements. These are important skills, but they mostly focus on what happens between people. Consent does not start with what we say to others; it starts with what we experience inside ourselves.
Before we can clearly express consent, we need to be connected to what we are sensing, feeling and thinking. Our internal experience includes physical sensations, emotions and thoughts. It is this inner awareness that helps us recognise what feels right, what feels wrong, and what we are unsure about.
Without connection to our inner experience, it can be difficult to know if our yes or no is real. We might agree to things because of pressure, habit or uncertainty, rather than because it truly feels right for us.
This is where embodiment becomes essential.
What is embodiment?
Embodiment means being connected to what is happening inside us. It is the ability to notice our physical sensations, such as tension or ease, our emotions, such as excitement or resistance, and the thoughts and beliefs that shape our reactions.
In simple terms, embodiment is feeling ourselves from the inside out.
Embodiment asks us to slow down enough to notice what is really happening inside us, instead of rushing past our own experience. Slowing down creates the space we need to listen, reflect and respond in ways that are more true to what we feel.
When we are embodied, we have access to rich information from our body and emotions. This helps us make choices that are clearer and more authentic. Without embodiment, consent can easily become mechanical, something we say or do out of habit or expectation rather than a real choice rooted in how we actually feel.
Consent: An inside and outside experience
Consent is not just something we communicate to others; it also involves an ongoing conversation with ourselves. It begins with checking in with our own experience, feeling into what we want or do not want, and then expressing that clearly in our relationships.
When we honour both our internal signals and our external interactions, consent becomes a living, relational process. It is not just a rule to follow but a way of being that is grounded in respect, clarity and care.
Understanding disembodiment
Many people move through life feeling disconnected from their bodies in different ways. Sometimes this disconnection comes from trauma, experiences that overwhelm our ability to stay present and safe in ourselves. Trauma can cause the body to shut down sensations, numb emotions, or stay on high alert.
But trauma is not the only reason people lose touch with their embodied experience. Disembodiment can also happen more gradually. Cultural expectations, family dynamics, religious teachings and social pressures often encourage us to ignore or override what we feel. Technology, fast-paced living and constant online engagement can pull our attention outward, making it harder to hear the quieter signals of the body. Sometimes, people were simply never shown how to tune into themselves in the first place.
Regardless of the cause, the result is often the same. We lose access to important information about what we feel, such as our wants and limits. Without a strong connection to our inner experience, navigating consent becomes much harder. We might agree to things we are unsure about, ignore discomfort, or struggle to recognise and express our boundaries.
For those healing from trauma, reconnecting to the body can be a key part of recovery. It can restore trust in internal signals and re-establish a sense of agency. For others, developing embodiment is about expanding awareness, deepening self-knowledge, and enhancing the ability to relate with more clarity, confidence and care.
Embodiment is not something we either have or do not have. It is a capacity that can be nurtured, expanded and strengthened over time. With practice, support and curiosity, we can all learn to sense, feel and respond more fully. This creates stronger foundations for choice, connection and wellbeing.
Somatic play and the expressive arts
Reconnecting with our embodied experience can feel challenging, especially if it has not been a strong part of our lives before. One powerful way to develop embodied awareness is through creative, playful approaches that engage both the body and imagination.
Somatic Play combines body awareness with expressive arts like movement, visual art, roleplay and storytelling. It is not about performance or getting something "right". It is about exploration. We start to notice how our body wants to move, express, resist or reach out.
Somatic Play invites you to slow down and ask yourself:
What am I feeling, thinking and sensing right now?
What choices are available to me?
What choice feels right for me based on what I notice?
The expressive arts offer powerful tools for this kind of exploration. Through creative movement, artmaking, voicework and improvisation, we can access parts of ourselves that words alone might not reach. We can explore emotions, boundaries, roles and desires in ways that feel natural, intuitive and grounded.
When we create a structured and clearly defined space for exploration, we give ourselves the opportunity to practise tuning in, expressing, setting boundaries and adjusting with real awareness. In this kind of environment, we can safely experiment, stay curious, and discover more about how we feel, what we want, and how we relate to others. Through Somatic Play, these skills are not just ideas. They become embodied ways of knowing ourselves and engaging with the world.
Bringing it all together
Embodiment is the foundation that makes consent real. When we are connected to our sensations, emotions and inner signals, we can recognise what we want, what we need, and where our limits lie. Consent begins not in our words, but in our ability to feel and respond to our own experience.
Through Somatic Play and creative exploration, we can develop the skills to notice, express and honour our internal truth. Practising embodiment strengthens our ability to navigate relationships with greater clarity, choice and care. It reminds us that consent is not something we perform. It is something we live, from the inside out, every day.
Stronger relationships begin in the body.
Learning to listen to your body is one of the most powerful things you can do. It helps you show up with presence, empathy, and confidence in every kind of relationship. Curious what this could look like for you? Let’s keep the conversation going.